after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
