i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
