Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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