Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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