just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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