The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So squirting runs in the family.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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