What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
