I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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