Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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