i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
