There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just googled if crying burns calories
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
