Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
