I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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