this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
