And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
