i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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