i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
