You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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