therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize