I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
