We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
