It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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