you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
