Swine flu is the new snow day.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
