We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
