when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
