are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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