it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
