She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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