im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
