Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish I only lived at night.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
