It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize