I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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