Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
