I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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