I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
