1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
