I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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