It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
