Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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