Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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