I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
