it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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