$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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