dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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