now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
