The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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