she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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