It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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