i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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