Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
please don't ironically join a cult
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