I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
