in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
