some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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