Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
