Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
