question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
