you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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