that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
