You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
