You just made me feel so damn special
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize