some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
