are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The power of my boobs compel you
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
